Endless Cycle
by Angel Dove1
Summary: Kaiba is depressed and has been pushing everyone away. Will he be able to overcome this or will it consume him.


I don't own Yu-gi-oh or any of the characters in this story

This is a short scene that I had stuck in my head and it wouldn't get out it. I couldn't fit it into any of my currant stories so I made it to stand out on it's own. I hope you like it. I very much enjoyed writing. This completes the three new stories I have. As you can probably tell, I've been having a few depressed couple of months. At least this makes me feel better.

Warnings: Slight suicidal thoughts and yaoi (MaleXmale) If you don't like either of these please don't read this.

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The world seemed to move around me as if there was no reason other than to keep me locked in the endless cycle of pain and loneliness. I no longer saw the point to fight or struggle for a cause that was doomed for failure. I didn't deserve happiness. All friendships and relationships were no longer affected by me. Katsuya had long since moved out of the mansion. All I had do was constantly fight with him longer than a few months and he gave up, moving out on his own, only leaving a note behind telling me that he still loved me, but it was time to separate for awhile. My younger brother could move on with his life. He knew everything he needed to know to run the company and was happily married to a woman he dated in college with their first child on the way. I no longer needed to support him or my company. I curled further against the bay window overlooking the snowy garden in the back of my house. The chill of the outside bit against my slightly warm skin. I didn't bother to reach for a blanket or light a fire in the fireplace directly across from my bed to warm the cooling room. Again what was the point? My body shivered automatically from the cold. I sighed, dropping my usual emotionless face. There was no one around to pretend like nothing bothered me.

Slowly new snow began to fall, adding more layers to the older snow. I found myself wishing that every snowflake was a piece of me dissolving until there was nothing left. Maybe I could have that done. When I die, I can have them cremate me and throw my ashes out in the air, however that would mean I would be apart of everyone that came across my ashes. No, I couldn't do that. They should just throw my ashes in the trash where they belong. I closed my eyes and placed my head against the wood connecting to the bay window. I hated how my thoughts wondered. I no longer sustained the energy required to make myself become someone other than a dark shadow. I was tired of sleeping all day long and never feeling rested. I want the eternal rest that was granted to those who deserve to leave this world. My mind slipped further into the darkness of my soul. Why bother fighting?

The door quietly opened. I ignored it, hoping that it was someone coming to end my life because I was too cowardly to do it myself. The darkness of the room prevented me from seeing who it was through the reflection of the window. A gentle hand slid across my shoulder and down the front of my chest while another hand moved around the base of my neck to the other side of my chest. I was pulled into a warm, soft body. The sweet aroma of ocean breeze bombarded my senses. "Katsuya," I whispered, wondering when I had time to fall asleep. Could I have been asleep this entire time and this was one long dream? That could be the only explanation. I smiled and leaned further into him. Might as well enjoy his company at least for one last time in my dreams.

Katsuya kissed the side of my cheek before moving slowly downward. "If I would have known that you were just pushing me away because you were depressed, I would have fought harder," he whispered into my ear. His soft baritone voice caused shivers to run down my spine. My body naturally remembered everything that he did. Every pleasurable spot he found on my body. I began to crave more of his touch. Slowly he guided me away from the cold window and across the room. His soft wet lips continued to suck and lick the delicate skin at the base of my neck while slowly backing up towards the bed.

I felt him leave from directly behind me for a second before he pulled me into his lap. He unbuttoned my shirt, sliding his warm fingers along my chest. He pulled an unexpected moan from my lips with his soft caresses. He slipped out from behind me and lowered me to the mattress leaving my legs still dangling over the side. He knelt beside me, licking unknown patterns on my chest. The pleasure that he brought to my senses was sinful. I craved more of the attention he was giving me. He lifted my leg and removed the sock before kissing my ankle. I blessed from the intense care he was giving me. I couldn't believe what overcame him or me. I never knew I had this fantasy locked away inside of me.

Katsuya removed my other sock before pulling on my pajama pants. He slipped them off along with my boxers. He continued to kiss and lick my sweaty skin. He swung my legs onto the bed and repositioned me until I was in the middle of the bed. He slipped his own shirt over his head and tossed it on the floor. I opened my arms and wrapped them around his neck, pulling him down for our first kiss of the night. I was frustrated that he would kiss every part of my body except for my lips. I craved the soft lips against mine. He slid his fingers of his left hand down the length of my right arm until they reached the end of my middle finger. I curled my fingers around his and moaned into his lips as he pressed his still clothed bottom half against my nude one. He continued to move slowly up and down, causing delicious friction. I broke our kiss and gasped, moaning his name. He placed his free hand against my cheek, looking directly into my eyes. "Let me love you," he whispered.

I nodded and he reached down to remove his own pants. He placed his knee between my legs, rubbing and rolling it gently against my erection. I found myself moving with him, feeling the pleasure spiking through my body. I needed more. He leaned up and pressed our nude bodies together, moving up and down along our sweaty skin. He pushed off me gently. I opened my eyes quickly, wondering if I woke from the dream only to feel his hand gently pushing my one leg up until it bent at the knee. "K-Katsuya," I moaned as he licked and sucked on each toe. He moved his way up until he reached my inner thigh. He didn't stop until he reached my erection. He licked from the top of the head all the way down. I felt the appendix entering inside of me. I clenched the sheets below me, riding the waves of pleasure.

I felt his tongue leaving me only to be replaced a second later with a slick finger. I groaned from the discomfort and tried to relax my body from the odd feeling. Even though Katsuya and I have done this countless times, I could never get used to the first initial intrusion. Katsuya knew this and was always very gentle with me. He kept our hands together until he felt my muscles calming. One finger after another. He continued to stretch me until he felt me completely relax under his gentle hands. I pulled on his hand, trying to get him to hurry along. I was desperate. I gasped, feeling him ease into me. Breathing quickly in and out, I waited along with Katsuya for my body to adjust. The sensation from being completely filled was uncomfortable but not painful nor unpleasant.

He pulled out slightly and pushed back in. I moaned loving the friction. He started slow before picking up the pace. I tossed my head back and arched my back meeting each of Katsuya's thrusts. I opened my eyes and looked up at him glistening with sweat. He was the most gorgeous person I have ever laid eyes on. I closed my eyes, feeling my climax pending. I moaned loudly as he hit my prostate directly. Everything became too much and I released all over our stomachs. I heard him moan as my body naturally clenched around his member. He came seconds later. He collapsed on top of me while we caught our breaths.

Once we came down off our highs, Katsuya gently pulled out of me. I felt oddly exhausted for being inside of a dream. I closed my eyes, willing to return to the black void of sleep, but Katsuya moved beside me. "Don't go to sleep yet." That was an odd thing to say for a dream.

I opened my eyes and blinked up at him. "Why?"

"We need to clean up."

"Too tired," I mumbled, curling in on myself.

Katsuya chuckled, but it sounded like he was across the room. A few minutes went by before I felt something warm against my stomach. I chuckled as he hit a ticklish spot. I tried to move away but Katsuya kept me in place. "Seto, I need to clean you, stop moving." I sighed and rolled on my back, letting him clean up my mess along with his. He disappeared again into the bathroom and shut the light off before walking over to the fireplace. "I'm going to light the fire. It's freezing in your room."

I nodded and moved under the covers. At this point, it didn't matter what happened in this dream world. I was happy. I was able to enjoy one more tender moment with Katsuya. I could die happy. I felt Katsuya move under the covers and pulled me into his warm embrace. "Will you tell me what is wrong?" he gently asked me.

"I don't deserve happiness. This will be the last time I see you in my dreams."

Katsuya stared at me. "Seto, you're awake. Do you know that?"

I shook my head. "That's impossible. We…I said terrible things to get you away from here. You said you'd never come back. My mind is playing tricks on me." I slipped out of his arms and squeezing my hands around my hair.

He got up quickly and placed his hands over mine. "Seto, please calm down. I know you are depressed and everything seems hopeless right about now, but you need to believe me that this is real. I came back for you. I didn't have sex with you. I made love to you. I wanted to show you the love I still have for you."

I stared up at him. I slowly moved my hands down and placed them in my lap. Katsuya gripped them still and looked at me directly in the eyes. I frowned. "I'm sorry," I whispering, finding those words strange coming out of my mouth.

"I'll accept your apologize under one condition." I shifted my gaze to our joined hands, dreading what his condition would be. "Go see a psychologist with me so we can better understand these horrible mood swings you have."

I looked up at him in shock. That was his condition. That simple request that I was planning on doing once I managed to get out of my room was his only condition to forgiving me for all the horrible things I've said. I shook my head. "I was planning on doing that originally. You must ask something else of me for your forgiveness."

"You forgot that I said that I wanted to go with you. You were planning on going alone."

I moved carefully under the covers and pulled him down with me. "Okay." I closed my eyes and felt him sigh before moving closer to me. "Tomorrow we can go."

Katsuya ran his fingers through my hair and halfway down my back. That soothing motion was enough to get my body to stop shaking from the shock of actually being awake. "Thank you, Seto. I promise to never leave you alone again."

I knew it wasn't his fault and I'm sure he knew that too. I closed my eyes and kissed his cheek. "I love you, Katsuya."

"I love you too, Seto. Now, get some rest. I'm sure you're exhausted." I smiled softly at his concern and found myself unable to fight my exhaustion. I felt complete with him next to me. Complete and safe. The nightmares won't plague me tonight for my lover was by my side.

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I hope you like that one. I know it's strange to stand on its own but I couldn't quit get it to fit anywhere else and I didn't want to leave it in my head for fear that I would lose it. Thank you all for reading. Let me know what you think.

Angel Dov


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